if only i could text you this smell
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
