Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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