Whod you bang
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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