Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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