How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
