shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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