i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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