I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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