I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize