you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
