i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk