you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.