I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Randomize