just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
When did angry sex become our thing?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
