my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
