I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Congratulations! We have a period
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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