Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
