I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
