omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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