I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
