I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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