how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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