when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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