we have officially lost it.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
