So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
