omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
zippers are such a cool invention
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
