so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Randomize
