well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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