And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
