I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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