I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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