He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
