I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
