I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
