May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
