you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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