She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
