Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
