It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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