I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
