just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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