It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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