i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize