She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
