The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
