She announced her abortion via fbk
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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