All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
