i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
