Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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