I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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