i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he shaved USA in his pubs
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
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beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
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I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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