Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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