I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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