But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
there is puke in my bra ... again
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize