i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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