a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize