U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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