Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
if only i could text you this smell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize