You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
