And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
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And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
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You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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