He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
