My girlfriend figured out who you are.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Come share oat with me in your robe
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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