So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
