Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
