Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
