Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes