i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
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I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.