I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
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so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
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You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.