I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.