"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Can you rollerblade?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!