So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though