Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
