My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
