i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
