For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
