Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
