She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The adults are the big ones right?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
