Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
