Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
