Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
